Barbie was my first lesbian relationship…
It’s the Summer in the late ’80s, my cousins, siblings and I are packed in my Aunt's basement. My Aunt was the “family sitter” in black families that’s the person who has watched every generation. Her house was always packed with the latest toys, movies, board games, and the best ice tea in Maryland that was guaranteed to send you into a sugar shock.
My mother would drop us off in the morning, pushing my older siblings along the way as they dragged getting up to get dressed. Me on the other hand, I’m ready, at times waiting in the car for the sloths in my family. Each day, I was eager, uncertain, and just knew I needed to get to the basement to see “Her”. I was about 7 years old at the time, I knew she was way out of my league, but it was something about my Fisher-price sized hands grasping the body a naked Barbie.
I would bypass my Aunt and breakfast each morning, dodging getting tossed around by my older cousins and diverting any suspicion about taking Barbie into the Bathroom with me. Every day I would snatch the same one from the pile, she had brown hair that was constantly tangled by my cousin who swore she was a beautician, dark eyes that always seemed to stare in my soul to calm me and probably the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen.
We decided to date about a month after are countless trips to the bathroom, my pocket, or that one time I had to wrestle her from my Aunts dog Bear, who was truly a bear chained to a tree. He had Heather in his mouth as I pulled and threw every stone and stick at his head until he eventually let go only taking her arm with him. Yes, I named this Barbie Heather I felt what if one day I wanted to introduce her to my overly religious family or friends? She had to have a name. I recall several times hiding her from the pile of toys to where I would only pick her up. I’m sure I still have the scar above my eye when my cousin's friend said, “Why you always playing with that broke up white Barbie” First of all it’s 1988, and Mattel, Inc isn’t woke yet AND because we’ve been dating! Just say her hair beads are probably still scattered on Ridgewest Street.
I didn’t know what lesbian was, I had no clue what feelings were all I knew there was some sort of spark whenever I held, seen, or even spoke Heather’s name (To myself, of course). Every day I would jet down in that basement to grab her from the pile, I would carry her everywhere until my mother would pick us up. She stayed by my side throughout the day watching Cinderella 100X or assisting me in playing family with other dolls, I legit wanted to be a doll so we could co-parent together and she could teach me how to ride her horse. Wait… I never spoke of Ken…Who???
20+ years later I still tell people my first relationship with a woman was with Barbie. I get laughs, shock value and the few people that have told me to write about it as if I’m freeing myself from addiction
Truthfully, everyone has had a similar experience at a young age, where sexuality is a quest and you are on your journey to find yourself through playing “house” or other childhood games.
Me and Heather never broke it off, may she rest in peace in the landfill or wherever she is…Love you girl ❤
